a letter for you

Its already 2 years and 4month that we're finally decide to made its just not an ordinary friendship....
We've through so much time, laugh, sad, angry, jokes, silly, and love together
You've seen that i'm changed from 19th introvert, egoism, childish, fool girl became a girl who  i am today (yeah i know im not changed too much that i still always getting you mad. But then, i am a different one than a girl that you first met, right? Yes!)

We're growing up together....
Day by day we know each other better than before...
Then yeah.... you definetely changed my whole mind...
Before now, i believe that i shouldnt love anyone better than i love my self.
I know that im the best one who could love my self.
So if there's someone that could be my boyfriend, i shouldnt love him with all of my heart.
Cos i know that he wouldnt love me as good as i love my self. That i need to prepare my self of loosing him.
That someday i become bored to love him cos he wouldnt be as good  as the one who i always want to be with.
That someday he will leave me cos he finally found another girl who much better than me.
That he will leave me cos he cant handle me.
That i will leave him cos i know it never work with him.
That i will leave him cos i actually sure that he's not my right one.

Then i met you.....
For 1 year our relationship, i stand on my mind
I still believe that i will bored of loving you, i easily getting bored.
Im sure that you'll cheated on me.
You'll find another girl then leave me.
I know that you'll became tired of being a egoism girl boyfriend like me.
But then, i definetely get wrong....

Its already 2 years and 4 months...
And till now, youre never leave me...
You definetely find some girl who such a beautiful and better than me...
But then, you still choosing to hold me...
You could even handle me even when im in the worst condition...
You'll never try to cheated on me...
You made a relationship was worth to fighting...
Youre never got tired of being mine....

Day by day i love you more than before...
Day by day i found that you're a human like me.
You did a mistake, You careless sometimes, you love to give me this and thus advice, you sometimes angry with me, you're sometimes being like a lil boy, you're really really lazy to take a bath, you really like teasing me, you made yourself looks like depending on me too much.

But all of this things just made me love you more....
I just realize that people sometimes doing wrong
But if you really love them, it never gonna changes anything.
I love you dude.

You absolutely know that im the type of girl who easily getting bored of something..
You ever asked me "so why you're not getting bored with me?"
Then i answer(just in my mind) to be honest, i getting bored of you sometimes.
Sometimes i think that we need to broken off.
But everytime i think it twice, i  realize that i must be not the only one who feel this.
You absolutely ever feel like me.
 But then, you choose to stay with me.
So why i couldnt try to do the same thing like you?

I write this letter so that someday if i feel like i dont love you anymore, i feel like i need to leave you, i feel that youre not the right one it could be remind me that...
I did love you so much
I ever wont spending a day without you
And i know that youre the truth one....




Love


Abhe

just be grateful!!

Then am back to blog!!!!

Akhirnya setelah sekian lama ga posting di blog, saya kembali lagi....

Jujur, pekerjaan saya benar benar menyita seluruh waktu yang saya punya... jangankan untuk posting atau sekedar melihat postingan teman teman yg lain, kadang waktu untuk diri saya sendiri, dan keluarga sayapun rasanya terlalu sedikit...
But actually, i never regret all the things i've done today..
I even feel blessed for all the things that god give me until today whether its good or bad.. :)

This time, i will share bout love...
Ya, tema ttg percintaan ini memang tidak akan pernah ada habisnya untuk di perbincangkan..
Everbody needs love of course!

Saya dan pacar saya sudah berhubungan sekitar 2 tahun.
And i feel really blessed for being his girl...

Iya saya tau semua orang pasti akan merasa beruntung memiliki seseorang yang saat ini bersamanya, tapi tentu akan berubah jika mereka berpisah. Semua pasti akan berubah 180°..

So let me explain you this...
Saya adalah tipe wanita yang lumayan sulit untuk jatuh cinta. Saya cukup introvert untuk sekedar menceritakan kehidupan saya kepada orang lain.
Saya seperti punya dinding besar yang menghalangi semua orang untuk masuk ke "dunia saya"
Dan sialnya... dia berhasil merobohkannya...
Bersamanya, saya berubah menjadi pribadi yang lebih terbuka..
Saya mulai bisa bicara apa yang saya alami, apa yang saya rasakan, atau apa yang saya ingin dia lakukan untuk saya...
Bersamanya saya sadar bahwa setiap manusia memang membutuhkan orang lain untuk tempatnya bersandar...
Bersamanya saya tau rasanya kehadiranmu begitu berarti di mata orang lain...
Bersamanya saya di ajarkan untuk lebih dewasa menghadapi hidup...
Bersamanya saya sadar bahwa bersama sama memang lebih menyenangkan di banding sendirian...
Bersamanya saya tau bahwa seseorang dapat membuatmu jatuh cinta sekaligus marah di waktu yang sama...
Bersamanya saya takut merasa kehilangan orang lain selain keluarga saya...
Bersamanya saya tau bahwa sosok pria seperti di dongeng memang tidak akan pernah ada.. karna tidak akan pernah ada sosok sempurna di semesta ini... yang ada hanyalah dia, yang baik dan buruknya dapat kita terima...
Bersamanya saya sadar bahwa ketika kamu benar benar jatuh cinta, kamu tidak akan pernah mudah untuk melepaskannya pergi..
Bersamanya saya menemukan sosok sempurna seorang partner, sahabat, kakak, ataupun teman gosip yang biasanya hanya kamu temui bersama teman wanita...
Bersamanya, untuk pertama kalinya saya tau saya menemukan orang yang tepat....


Jujur, saya ini hanya wanita normal pada umumnya yang mendambakan pasangan seperti drama drama korea di televisi...
Tapi toh saya tau saya tidak akan tahan berjalan bersama pria dengan cardigan warna terang, celana skirt super ketat, dan di kerubungi gadis gadis lain yang ingin menggantikan posisi saya. Lalu saya akan di banding bandingkan dengan mereka karna menurut mereka saya jauh lebih buruk dari mereka...
A BIG NO NO FOR THIS GUY!!

Jadi ketimbang saya sibuk menghayal menginginkan sosok sempurna seperti drama korea, saya lebih memilih untuk bersyukur atas segala hal yang saya punya saat ini.
Dia memang tidak sempurna...
Terlalu cuek, terlalu blak blakan, kurang romantis, and sometimes he even dont have an idea of something i want...
Tetapi terlepas dari segala kekurangan dia, toh di matanya saya juga pasti memiliki banyak kekurangan yang lalu dia maklumi karena dia mencintai saya...
Jadi mulailah bersyukur untuk pasangan yang saat ini bersamamu.
Karna tuhan telah memberikan seseorang terbaik untukmu. Jangan pernah mengeluh, atau merasa dia bukan orang yang terbaik untukmu. Karna sesungguhnya, dia juga memiliki perasaan yang sama sepertimu, tetapi dia memilih untuk tetap di sampingmu.
Just believe that god actually gave what you need. Even its not what you want.

Suatu hari seorang teman bertanya kepada saya kenapa sepertinya kami tidak pernah ada masalah? Kenapa kami tidak pernah terdengar sedang bertengkar ataupun pernah berpisah?
Saya hanya tertawa mendengar pertanyaannya...
Of course we have a problem and we also doing fight?
There's no one in this world who dont have a problem, but the wise person save the problem for theirself without need to share with another...
Cos they know that sometimes, people dont care about your problem. They just need a news to hear, and your problem will be the news that they could share with another...
Just becareful guys!


Love



Abhe <3